I have been semi reading this book. A lot of it doesn't really apply to Sammy at least not right now. BUT they did talk about giving your child opportunities to be independent from you. Talking about how things are harder for kids with CP and so they tend to rely on their caregivers more then "typical" kids do. (NOT all typical kids, as Anna and I napped together this afternoon....she would still be nursing and sleeping with us if I would of let her) Anyways, I have been noticing that Sammy really, really, really, really favors me. Wants me to hold him, nurse him, carry him, just be there with him all the time. If I am not home or in the room he LOVES Daniel, but if I am there he wants me to hold him. As a mom, I love this! But at what age do you stop this? That is what I am struggling with now.I have been going back and forth about whether I should start bringing the three youngest to the YMCA while I work out there. I have mixed feelings about it. I was bringing them there on a regular basis pretty much till we found out about Sammy. It was too much for me to deal with, and Daniel volunteered to stay home two/three days a week for me to go to work out. But now his schedule is more hectic and it hasn't been working out. Starting next month it will never work out with his internship at the hospital all summer. In my head I know that I need to give Sammy these opportunities to be independent but I am not treating him right now any different then I did my other kids at this age that were still nursing. I mean each kid is different. Lillian and Joseph were born independent and completely self weaned by their first birthdays, while Anna and Sammy seem to be much more "needy" babies and Elizabeth was just the perfect mix of both.
It is hard for me to let Sammy or any of my kids cry before the age two. Once they are even 18 months it is easier for me. Probably because they tend to get naughty and then you just need a break from them. So all day lately Sammy is crying "Mama, Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Mamamamamam...." ON and ON and ON until I finally pick him up. I will let him fuss while I am doing something, but then I just have to get back to him. The only times he is content without me is if Lillian is holding him or when he is eating and sleeping. Each of my kids went through seperation anxiety and I just held them/nursed them more during those times and then it passed. Now with Sammy I am second guessing myself. Our PT said that I needed to watch how dependent he is on me, that she can see that we have a very special bond, which she thinks is great but that I need to force him to work too. I FEEL LIKE A FIRST TIME MOM AGAIN!!! I am confused, I need to find a balance between him being dependent on me (because hello he is only 13 months and needs to be dependent on me) and also giving him experiences to be without Daniel or I. I will say that when we have left him with friends he does great no problems. I just want to make sure that keeps happening. Any suggestions would be great!!! FYI though, I am not willing to stop nursing him....I feel like of course he would be less dependent on me then, but I want him to nurse for another year unless he gets SO busy he weans himself, that would be GREAT!
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4 comments:
((((HUGS)))
Trust your instincts...you have been right on with 4 other kiddos, so there is nothing to say they would suddenly go crazily wrong with you on Sammy. Advice from other people is just that.
My honest opinion on this book, I hated it. I skimmed through it, but couldn't force myself to read it. I think we should all write a 'real' experiences book that people can relate to!!!
Suzanne - You are a wonderful Mom and you do not need to doubt yourself. He is still a little guy and I am so impressed with the breastfeeding. Maybe give it a try one day when you are just going for an informal work out (no class) and see how it goes. If there is a window at the Y, you can peek in and see how it is going. We have Reichen in day-care and he is still attached to my hip as soon as I walk in the door. All perfectly natural.
Jess -- To your comment, I think we should write a book. I am reading one called "The Elephant in the Playroom" right now and it is a bunch of real stories. That would be great to do for CP specific.
Suzanne, I have always been super impressed with your wonderful instincts with your kids. Mothering comes so naturally to you and you should trust that now. Maybe part of the reason you were given such wonderful mothering skills as a gift (I truly believe you have a divine gift) is to prepare you for this new challenge. No mom could be better prepared to handle a challenge like this than you. Sammy is so lucky to have such a loving mommy and family. Trust yourself. You are a strong woman and mother. If you think he needs you, he needs you. You can't give a child too much love!
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